The Invisible Tension: Why Growth Feels Harder the Closer We Get to Our Vision

Have you ever noticed that the closer you come to achieving something truly meaningful, the harder it becomes to take the next step? It feels as if an invisible force pulls you backward, urging you to return to the safety of the status quo, just when success seems within reach. Personal growth—whether in life or work—is rarely a straightforward, linear process. It is filled with tension, paradoxes, and an invisible pull that challenges your resolve at every turn.

Having spent years supporting individuals and organizations in their development, I’ve seen this inner struggle play out repeatedly. It’s not failure that stops us—it’s the weight of our beliefs, fears, and the quiet tension between where we are and where we long to be. Understanding this dynamic isn’t just the key to overcoming it; it’s the key to transforming growth into a journey worth embracing.

The Invisible Rubber Band of Personal Development

There’s a powerful metaphor in personal development that helps explain why growth often feels so difficult: the rubber band effect. Imagine holding the ends of a rubber band—one hand represents your current reality (the status quo), while the other hand reaches toward your vision, the person or place you want to become or achieve.

At first, when you're far from your vision, the rubber band is stretched tightly. The tension between your current reality and your vision creates both emotional and structural strain. The greater the difference between where you are and where you want to be, the stronger the pull toward the vision. Motivation is high because of the emotional energy created by the tension, and you feel energized to move forward.

However, as you get closer to your vision, the rubber band becomes less and less stretched. The closer you are to the desired outcome, the weaker the pull forward becomes, and the tension decreases. At the same time, the force pulling you back toward your comfort zone—the status quo—becomes stronger. The closer you get to your vision, the more doubts and fears surface, reinforcing the belief that staying where you are is easier and safer.

• Pull Forward: Motivation grows strong as the tension between your current reality and your vision fuels progress.
• Pull Backward: The closer you get to your goal, the weaker your motivation becomes, and the stronger your doubts, fears, and resistance to change grow.

This creates a conflict of forces—two pulls in opposite directions. Without understanding this dynamic, it’s easy to misinterpret it as failure, causing you to lose energy and retreat just when you are closest to a breakthrough.

Why Personal Growth Is Hard—but Essential

In my years of observing people and organizations, I’ve learned that the hardest part of growth isn’t taking the first step—it’s staying the course when the resistance becomes strongest. Personal mastery—becoming the best version of yourself—requires a particular kind of perseverance.

Organizations often fail to recognize this fundamental truth. They create environments filled with opportunities for development but miss the simple fact that growth cannot be forced. You can’t impose personal development through mandatory training programs or rigid structures. These initiatives, though well-intentioned, can backfire, creating resentment and disengagement.

What I’ve observed in the most powerful transformations are individuals who:

• Discovered their “why”—their personal mission, vision, or purpose.
• Clearly defined their current reality, acknowledging their fears and limitations without judgment.
• Embraced the tension, understanding it not as failure but as proof they were stretching toward something worthwhile.

The Key to Organizational Development: Growth of Individuals Drives Organizational Evolution

Organizational growth is inextricably linked to the development of the individuals within it. When people grow—whether in their personal mastery, leadership skills, or sense of purpose—they elevate the entire organization. Organizations that invest in their people’s growth not only enhance employee satisfaction and retention but also foster innovation, adaptability, and collaboration. However, many organizations struggle with this concept.

Too often, they try to drive change through structural revisions, systems improvements, or top-down mandates, without addressing the need for individual growth at the core of the organization. This lack of focus on personal development leads to stagnation, because no matter how much the systems or processes change, if the people within those systems aren't growing, the organization’s potential remains unfulfilled.

When organizations fail to invest in their people’s personal development, they inadvertently create a disconnect between the company’s goals and the individual’s purpose. This mismatch results in disengagement, lack of motivation, and a high turnover rate. The most successful organizations recognize that the development of their people is the key to unlocking their true potential and achieving sustainable success.

Supporting Growth without Forcing It

As someone who supports Learning and Development processes, I’ve learned that our role is not to “fix” people or tell them what they need. Instead, it’s about creating environments where individuals feel empowered to grow at their own pace, in their own way.

This means:

• Creating space for reflection—where individuals can define their current reality and explore their vision.
• Encouraging curiosity—helping individuals ask better questions rather than prescribing answers.
• Building trust and psychological safety—where failure is seen as part of the process, not a judgment on someone’s worth.

Growth is deeply personal. No two journeys are the same. I’ve seen people who, after years of stagnation, suddenly find their spark when they connect with a purpose that feels authentically theirs. I’ve also seen how forcing development—through mandatory training or rigid frameworks—wastes not just time and money, but potential.

Navigating Today’s Challenges: The Struggle to See Clearly

In today’s world, defining a vision for ourselves feels harder than ever. We’re overwhelmed with choices, distracted by noise, and uncertain about what truly matters. The question “Who do I want to become?” is both empowering and paralyzing.

Yet, this question lies at the heart of growth. Without a clear vision—no matter how small or tentative—we remain stuck in our current reality. The tension between where we are and where we want to be dissolves, not because we’ve grown, but because we’ve stopped stretching.

What makes growth beautiful is also what makes it hard: it requires us to hold that tension, to sit with the discomfort of the rubber band pulling in both directions.

• To believe we are capable of change, even when doubt tells us otherwise.
• To take small steps forward, even when progress feels invisible.
• To trust the process, even when the destination feels far away.

The Path Forward: Holding the Tension with Grace

The key to growth lies not in eliminating the tension but in learning to hold it with grace. The rubber band will always pull in two directions—that’s its nature. Our task is to become aware of this tension, to honor it, and to use it as a source of energy rather than frustration.

I’ve seen this dynamic play out countless times:

• A team member who doubted their ability to lead until they took the first small step and saw what they were capable of.
• A colleague who resisted change for years, only to discover their passion when they connected it to a larger purpose.
• A mentor who taught me that the discomfort of growth is not something to fear, but something to embrace.

These moments remind me that growth is both fragile and resilient. It is fragile because it requires courage, vulnerability, and belief. But it is resilient because once we see the possibilities within ourselves, it’s hard to unsee them.

Closing Thoughts: Growth Is Worth the Tension

If you are on a path of growth—whether personally or professionally—know this: the tension you feel is not a sign that you’re failing. It is a sign that you’re stretching, that you’re reaching for something that matters.

Hold that tension. Embrace the doubts, the fears, and the resistance. Trust that the closer you get to your vision, the stronger you’ll need to hold onto your belief in yourself.

Growth is not a straight line, nor is it easy. But it is always worth it.

And as someone who has the privilege of supporting others on their journey, I can tell you this: when you hold that tension long enough, something extraordinary happens. You begin to see not just who you are, but who you can become.

That, to me, is the essence of personal mastery—and it is one of the most beautiful things we can experience, both as individuals and as organizations.